Vi har været sammen i næsten 8 år nu, gift i de 3 1/2 år af dem. Vi gik i gymnasiet sammen og blev kærester i 3.g.
Han er nok en af de sødeste mænd man kan finde, dejlig og sjov er han. Doven er han også, men det er jeg jo også lidt selv, så der passede vi nok godt sammen ;)
Han har været min bedste ven i mange år og jeg har rigtig mange gode minder med ham. Min familie elsker ham også helt utrolig meget.
Men kærligheden og begæret til hinanden er forsvundet igennem årene der er gåde. Så til sidst sad vi ved siden af hinanden i sofaen, som de bedste venner. Men det var også det.
Og jeg vil have mere end bare venskab, jeg vil have en som elsker og begærer mig hver dag og K fortjener det også.
Vi er kun 26 og 27 år, det er for tidligt at have det sådan. Så beslutningen om skilsmisse blev tage. Det var sgu en svær beslutning, selvom jeg tror det er den rigtige. Heldigvis har vi ingen børn som det går ud over. Men vi har dog lige bygget nyt drømmehus, så nu skal det sættes til salg :(
Heldigvis er vi stadig venner, og enige om beslutningen. Og jeg håber inderligt at vi kan forblive venner, selvom jeg ved det kan blive svært. Især når der kommer nye partnere ind over en gang.
Lige et lille billede af en skilsmissekage jeg så på pinterest.
Det er skisme lidt for skørt.
Heldigvis er det heller ikke den følelse jeg sidder med overfor K som de kager viser. Og jeg håber da heller ikke det er den følelse han har.
Men ikke nok med at det er ens livsledsager igennem næsten 8 år, man nu har valgt at lade sig skille fra. Det er også alle de drømme og tanker om livet man havde, der skal til at tages op på ny. Det er sgu svært.
Fra jeg var en lille pige, har det med at få børn, familie, hus osv. Altid været det vigtigste for mig. Og da jeg begyndte at komme sammen med K, da havde jeg allerede planlagt resten af livet.
Jeg var sikker på vi havde en 2-3 børn inden jeg var 25 år. Den plan var K så ikke helt med på, for han var slet ikke klar til at få børn endnu.
Det var faktisk nogle hårde år for mig psykisk, for det var så vigtig for mig med de børn. Og da jeg blev 25 og ingen børn havde, så var jeg bare rigtig trist :( (idag er det jo meget godt, når nu vi skal skilles)
Men vi blev dog gift, et hemmelig og hyggelig bryllup på rådhuset. Vi har bygget os det dejligste drømmehus, men børneafdeling og plads til min klinik.
Hele vores tilværelse lå for fødderne af os, jeg har fast arbejde. K lige færdig uddannet, nu skulle vi rigtig til at have en voksen hverdag til at køre.
Drømmene var mange i det nye hus, jeg ville have køkkenhave, stort drivhus, masser af frugtræer, ja nærmest selvforsynende, der var jo plads nok på vores 2700 km2 store grund.
Og med den store børneafdeling i huset, så var det bare komme igang med ungerne. Og det gjorde vi så. Det tog et helt år før jeg blev gravid, og føj hvor jeg synes det var hårdt. Hver eneste måned var en ny skuffelse, når min menstruation kom. K virkede dog ikke særlig bekymret over det, jeg tror faktisk det passede ham fint nok, han ville hellere ud med vennerne osv.
Men pludselig en dag var den positiv, og det kom helt bag på mig. Pludselig følte jeg mig slet ikke så forberedt alligevel(selvom jeg allerede havde tøj til de første år, autostol mm. Arvet efter familien)
Men glæden var stor, især hos mig. Tror også K glædede sig, men han havde nok lidt svært ved at forholde sig til det hele.
Jeg kunne slet ikke vente til nakkefolds scanningen, så vi bestilte selv en scanning omkring uge 7. Og vi så det fineste hjerteslag. Vi fortalte det til familien og de tætteste venner også her var glæden stor.
Graviditeten forløb indtilvidere som det kunne forventes, masser af kvalme og træthed, ingen blødninger og stor glæde hos mig. Som læste en masse om babyer osv. Er jo en rigtig redebygger.
Så kom dagen hvor vi skulle til 12. Uger scanningen. Både K og jeg tog afsted og jeg var virkelig spændt. For sidst så vi jo bare hjerteslag, men man kunne ikke rigtig se det var en baby endnu. Men det kan man i 12. Uge.
Så lå jeg der på briksen, med K ved min side og kiggede forventningsfuldt op på skærmen. Jordemoderen søgte rundt på min mave med scanneren og jeg synes det tog lidt lang tid.
Det var der desværre en grund til, min lille baby var død. Den var ikke blevet større end sidst vi så den :( det var simpelhen så hårdt at få at vide.
Efterfølgende måtte jeg have en kirurgisk abort og var indlagt en dag på sygehuset.
For mig var det et psykisk knæk, da jeg virkelig glædede mig til den lille ny. Jeg ved ikke med K, han har aldrig været god til at tale om følelser. Tror faktisk mest han var ked af, at jeg var ked af det
Men graviditeten og det at miste den lille satte virkelig en masse tanker igang hos mig.
Var det det her jeg ville? Er lykken det store hus? Alle mine materielle ting? Skulle jeg have børn nu? Var K den rette for mig? Elskede vi overhovedet hinanden længere?
Jeg tog med min søster en uge til Tyrkiet og der fik jeg virkelig tid til at tænke over tingene. Da jeg kom hjem var beslutningen taget, selvom den bestem ikke var nemt.
Efter et par dage havde jeg en snak med K og han havde det lidt på samme måde. Vi snakkede om det i nogle dage og så besluttede vi os for at lade os skille. Selvom det bestemt ikke var nemt.
Heller ikke sjovt at sige det til familie og venner, som for de flestes vedkomne var meget overrasket.
Så her står vi nu.
Skilsmisse papirerne er sendt for 1 1/2 måned siden, vi har dog stadig ikke hørt fra statsforvaltningen.
Vi har aftalt med Danbolig at de skal sælge vores hus, vi har dog ikke fået det på nettet endnu, da der lige skulle ordnes en masse rod osv. først. Men det kommer det inden for de næste par uger. Forhåbentlig.
K flytter i egen lejlighed her 1. September, jeg bliver i huset til det er solgt. Det bliver godt at vi flytter hver til sit. Kan mærke at vi lettere bliver irriteret på hinanden nu og ønsker ikke at vi ødelægger vores venskab.
På søndag rejser jeg 14 dage på ferie til Tyrkiet, hvor jeg dog glæder mig.
Og om præcis en måned starter min tre måneders orlov, som jeg har taget for at komme ud og opleve verden lidt. Familien starter sammen med en tur til Mallorca. Når vi kommer hjem derfra, tager jeg 2 1/2 måned på rundrejse i Tyrkiet. Det bliver spændende og en stor udfordring for mig, da jeg normalt aldrig bevæger mig ud i det ukendte, og da slet ikke et andet land.
Hvad min fremtid bringer ved jeg endnu ikke. Men et ting er sikkert, jeg skal lade være med at forsøge at planlægge den til mindste detalje. For det har jeg altid gjort, og så glemmer jeg at leve i nuet og nyde livet. For alting har altid drejet sig om det jeg skulle nå.
Og lige et lille billede/ citat som passer så godt på mig nu.
One of the big changes that are happening in my life is my divorce from K.
We have been together for almost 8 years now , married for the 3 1/2 year of them. We went to high school together and became lovers in 3g
He is probably one of the sweetest men you can find, lovely and funny he is. Lazy he is too, but of course I am also a bit though, so that suited we probably well ;)
He has been my best friend for many years and I have many good memories with him. My family loves him also quite a lot .
But love and desire for each other has disappeared over the years is puzzling . So finally we sat side by side on the sofa , the best of friends . Nothing more.
And I want more than just friendship , I want someone who loves and desires me every day and K deserves it too.
We are only 26 and 27 years old, it is too early to have it that way. So the decision to divorce was taking . It was a bloody hard decision , although I think it's the right one. Fortunately, we have no children as it goes beyond. But we have just built new dream house, so now it should be put up for sale : (
Fortunately, we are still friends , and agree on the decision. And I sincerely hope that we can remain friends even though I know it can be difficult. Especially when new partners come.
Just a small picture of a divorce cake I saw on pinterest .
It 's crazy.
Fortunately , it is not the feeling I have with K. as the cakes shows . And I hope not K feel that way.
But not only that it is one's companion for almost 8 years, it has been decided to divorce . It is also all the dreams and thoughts about me life, i had to reconsider. This is really difficult.
Ever since I was a little girl , I tend to have children , family, house , etc. Always been the key for me . And when I started to get along with K , I had already planned the rest of our lives.
I was sure we had a 2-3 children before I was 25. The plan was K so not quite , because he was not ready to have children yet.
It was actually a tough year for me mentally , because it was so important for me with the children. And when I was 25 and had no children , so I was just really sad: ( (today it is quite well , now we 're getting a divorce )
But we were married , however , a secret and cozy wedding at City Hall. We have built us the most beautiful dreamhouse, with children's ward and room for my clinic.
Our whole life was on our doorstep , I have a permanent job . K just graduated , now we really to have an adult life to run.
The dreams were many in the new house , I would have vegetable garden, large greenhouse , lots of fruit trees , almost self-sufficient , which was well enough in our 2,700 km2 large garden.
And with the large children's section of the house, so it was just getting started with the kids. And so we did . It took a whole year before I got pregnant , and add that I think it was hard. Every month , a new disappointment when my period came . K did not particularly worried about it, I actually think it suited him fine, he would rather out with friends , etc.
But suddenly one day it was positive , and it got me by surprise . Suddenly I felt not so prepared anyway ( even though I already had clothes for the first year , car seat etc. . Inherited by family)
But the joy was great, especially with me. Think also K rejoiced , but he had probably a little hard to relate to it all.
I could not wait for my first public ultrasound, so we even ordered an ultrasound at week 7 And we saw the finest heartbeat. We told the family and closest friends here too, the joy was great.
The pregnancy progress so far as might be expected, lots of nausea and fatigue, no bleeding and very pleased with me. As read a lot about babies , etc.
Then came the day when we were about 12 Week ultrasound. Both K and I left and I was really excited. For the first ultrasound we only saw heartbeat , but you could not really see it was a baby yet. But you can in 12 Week .
So I lay on the couch with K by my side and looked expectantly up at the screen. The midwife searched around on my belly with ultrasound and I think it took a long time.
It was unfortunately a reason . my little baby was dead. It was not bigger than the last we saw it. it was a sad message .
Subsequently , I had to have a surgical abortion and was hospitalized one day.
For me it was a psychological blow when I really was looking forward to the new baby . I do not know K, he has never been good at talking about feelings . Actually I think most he was sorry that I was sorry
But the pregnancy and losing the little really appreciated a lot of thought started with me.
Was this what I wanted ? Is happiness the big house ? All my material things ? Should I have children now ? Was K right for me ? We loved each other at all anymore?
I went with my sister for a week to Turkey and I was really time to think about things. When I got home , the decision was taken , although it was not easy.
After a few days I had a chat with K and he felt much the same way . We talked about it for days and so we decided to let us divorce . Although it certainly was not easy.
it was not fun to say it to family and friends who were very surprised.
So here we are now.
Divorce papers are filed for 1 1 /2 months ago, we still have not heard from the state administration.
we have agreed with the real estate agent that they need to sell our house , we have not got it online yet , as there just had to be taken care of a lot of clutter , etc. first. But it seems within the next few weeks. Hopefully .
K moves in own apartment 1 September, I will be in the house until it is sold. It is good that we move our separate ways. Can feel that we can more easily get annoyed at each other now and do not want to we destroy our friendship.
On Sunday I travel 14 days on holiday to Turkey , how I am .
And in exactly one month starting my three months' leave, which I took to get out and see the world a little . The family starts with a trip to Majorca. When we come home from there , I take 2 1/2 month tour of Turkey. It will be exciting and a great challenge for me as I usually never moves me into the unknown , let alone another country.
What my future brings I do not know . But one thing is certain . I do not plan my future. For I have always done, and then I forget to live in the moment and enjoy life. For everything has always been about what I should achieve.
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